Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Southwind Inversion


Luke 12:55 - And when ye see the south wind blow, ye say, There will be heat; and it cometh to pass......Well boys, this Southwind be blowin' but there aint going to be no heat, and despite the 440 it aint going to pass you either!

 At first glance, this street submission Frankenhooptie from Sand Point looks to be the product of a freeway pileup.  Closer inspection reveals a finely melded combination of a 1969 Dodge D-300 and a 1974 Fleetwood Southwind (Dodge). The kicker is that the "cab" is actually the front of Fleetwood Southwind FLIPPED the hell over. Only in Sand Point could you get away with such blatant disregard for standard motor vehicle safety  Yet, the functionality of this hooptie is not really arguable.
The white bucket, as any fisherman knows, is the trash can.  The blue bucket is of course the drivers seat.  Passengers, tools, or passengers that are tools can sit on the starboard shelf.  Like for instance the rivet gun that did the aviation-like riveting of the cab to the dash.  Vintage conventional meets unorthodox modern. Its a match made in heaven and is, to date, the most spectacular hooptie recognized. Likely spawned on mushroom enhanced trip to the dump. Sand Point is a mere purgatory to the one-way trip that is the Sand Point dump.  But this Fleetwood Southwind came back, hacked, ripped, sawzalled, flipped, and recycled haute couture using a rivet gun instead of sewing machine.

"Cop took my wallet, looked at my license
His partner said "Damn, they all look like Tyson"
Yes, I'm legit, so they gotta let me go
This bucket ain't rollin' in snow.."  1989, My Hooptie, Sir Mix-a-Lot




Saturday, June 14, 2014

Liner Notes....more Sitka slings

This 1987 Ford F250 is knot simplicity nor handsome but its functional. If you don't know a knot, tie a lot.


Red 1989 Dodge Dakota. The symmetry is nice but would have been enhanced with similar sized line.  Bungee up front doing light duty. Not to be hatin' but ur tabs are expired.




This 1992 Chevy C/K has a bumper that is literally evaporating just like the coffee in this chaps untippable boat mug.  Also, seems to be partially handicapped?






















A 1990 Toyota 4x4.  I like this mad max look with a scrape, dent, A missing "T", a hanging license plate, cracked grill, and a skull and crossbones sticker is the topper!



















1993 Chevy Cavalier.  Also a "rode" warrior look.  As in rode hard and put away wet.
This lashing gives the impression of such tightness it compresses the bumper.


Monday, June 2, 2014

Good Shit Vol 1

In 1988, I turned 16 years old and despite stalling my 1981 Malibu 3 times during my parallel parking portion of my drivers test (its was an automatic so go figure), the DMV gave me my drivers license.
Crusing around, i realized quickly who wants to jam to "b" sides when one could create nothing but "a" sides?  You know, more "Panama" and less "drop dead legs".  So I made a compilation of good stuff and called it "Good Shit volume 1"  in tape cassette.

 This is a hooptie version of Ford Good shit....

This 1998 Ford Explorer at Safeway in Kodiak has been retrofitted with a handy mod to take care of the door latch flaw common on most explorers.  For $5.78 and some labor, problem solved with this bitchin' window bolt from True Value. I would have loved to see the owner use this latch?  Do they use the other door and keep it closed?, do they roll the window down and latch it up....so many questions??? 







This 1995 Ford F150 in Sitka seems normal enough but my mind just keeps flashing the vision of some dude in a wheel chair sidled up next to his grill with a zip tie and some parachute cord in his lap fixing his plate.  Empowering?  Yes!    Physical disability? Yes!   Mental disability?  heck no!...thats field expediency at its best.




This 1996 Ford Explorer Sport is rusty...no doubt.  I've seen ratchet straps in Kodiak hold up many things on old vehicles but I have not seen this.  You see Sitka rust makes Kodiak rust look like winter in Arizona.  The spare tire containment has rusted to the point that it resembles something from 1943.  In all honesty, this method of spare deployment is probably 10x faster than the standard not-rusted-to-shit method.

And of course if you don't have a bumper you put your license on with, you guessed it, Duct Tape!